


Drunken Truth

by attyohsehun



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Drama, Friends With Benefits, M/M, One-Sided Relationship, Romance, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-07
Updated: 2018-09-07
Packaged: 2019-07-08 01:10:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15919878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/attyohsehun/pseuds/attyohsehun
Summary: Chanyeol regrets a lot of things he has done in his life – but he will never regret loving Baekhyun.





	Drunken Truth

  
["Drunken words speak sober thoughts."](http://rapgenius.com/Drake-marvins-room-lyrics#note-229299)  
  
  
[“A drunk man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts.”](http://www.hookingupsmart.com/2011/12/06/hookinguprealities/a-drunk-man-never-lies/)  
  
  
[“What soberness conceals, drunkenness reveals.”](http://www.hookingupsmart.com/2011/12/06/hookinguprealities/a-drunk-man-never-lies/)

 

**_"Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable."_ **

**_\- C.S. Lewis_ **

  
Byun Baekhyun didn't believe in love. Emotions are messy; they're nothing but a pain in the ass,  _in more ways than one._  He doesn't do relationships. Relationships had **'It's complicated (TM)'** stamped all over them. Baekhyun didn't want the excess baggage. He did hook-ups, though. It was more convenient, yet not any less satisfying  — sexually, that is. It was enough to keep his carnal needs in check. Not worrying about a partner, was of course, an added bonus.

Baekhyun couldn't afford the emotional investment anyway — busy schedule and all. Sure, he still gets an entirely different pain in the ass, but it was nothing a cold shower and a couple tablets of Tylenol can't fix. Which was precisely why his arrangement with Chanyeol was convenient, to say the least. After all, getting a fuck buddy was one thing; but a fuck buddy who was also your roommate? Just plain awesome. Baekhyun didn't even need to go to shady clubs anymore ever since they started this routine of theirs. He couldn't even be bothered with remembering when or how it started. All he knew was that he wanted it to stay — as convenient as it is — no strings attached whatsoever, and he intended to keep it that way.

Except that, fate sometimes had this knack for messing things up. Baekhyun would later learn that it was just interfering with their lives so as to put things where they rightfully belong. Funny thing, fate is. Baekhyun was not the type of person to regret his actions, for he believed that one should take responsibility for his own decisions. He wasn't quite sure whether or not he regrets challenging Chanyeol to finish their fifth bottle of soju that one fateful night though.

***

Needless to say, it wasn't love at first sight. Chanyeol was never a romantic himself, much less not the clingy type either — okay,  _maybe_ he was. Why else would he be in-charge of composing sappy love songs for their albums anyway? Chanyeol sang love songs for a living, but he was far from believing the shit therein — until that glorious moment of epiphany when Baekhyun was riding him with his head tossed back to reveal the pale column of his neck, mouth hanging slightly open with his hair falling onto his eyes which were shut as Chanyeol dug deeper into him, something more than mere bodies becoming one in that particular moment — in Chanyeol's perspective, anyway.

It's funny, the circumstances wherein Chanyeol discovered his more than platonic feelings for his roomie-slash-fuck-buddy. After all, how many people in this world got to realize their deepest emotions at a time when logic dictates that there shouldn't be anything else in a person's mind other than lust at the moment. Okay, perhaps that was a bit of an exaggeration, knowing that there really were people who loved, who  _are_  in love. Yet, for the horny young lad named Park Chanyeol, it was rather... unexpected. Who would've thought that it would take him one particular image to make him realize how he had fallen for his friend, so much so that they had been fornicating for the longest time before he realized just that. 

Chanyeol just wanted to get some. He just wasn't aware that he was about to get some... and _more._ Still, he wasn't going to complain. When you're getting ass like that, you're bound not to. Then again, Chanyeol knew he couldn't blame himself. Not when Baekhyun's lips lured him in with pure seduction, his tongue in between his teeth as he stopped himself from screaming Chanyeol's name. Chanyeol's hips were moving mechanically, but he found it weird that with every thrust came a throbbing that wasn't just the pulsation in his manhood, no matter how he wanted it to be. His heart bumped onto his chest in time with his thrusts, his mind forcing himself into thinking that he was just overwhelmed by Baekhyun's heat around him; and he forced himself to believe just that. It was, however, short-lived; when Baekhyun opened his eyes and stared directly at Chanyeol's eyes as they simultaneously climaxed, eyes lined with kohl in a way that could only be called sinful — Chanyeol knew he was a goner.  
  
Chanyeol didn't sleep a blink that night. He knew he had just broken the one and only rule in this game of theirs: no falling in love, that is. He knew Baekhyun was going to stop whatever it is they have once he discovers that Chanyeol had somehow developed this wretched human emotion that is  _love_ for him. Chanyeol wouldn't put it beyond Baekhyun to cut their ties off completely, and as cliché as it sounds, he knew he couldn't live without the other man from the moment he realized that he loved him. Silence was the only option for him. It was a painful silence, to say the least. But Chanyeol was in love, not stupid. He wasn't stupid enough to confess and have Baekhyun leave him. Chanyeol was smart and he kept his mouth shut. It was the only way to keep Baekhyun beside him.

Then again, secrets were only as good as they were until they're told. Blame it on the fucking alcohol, indeed.

***

Drinking soju has been a part of the weekend ritual between Chanyeol and Baekhyun for the longest time. They always drank soju before they proceeded to the less-than-innocent part of their ritual. How they managed to reach up to their fifth bottle that night was beyond Chanyeol. The details were vague, and although Chanyeol always had a high tolerance for alcohol, five bottles were just too much for two people, especially with him drinking twice as much as Baekhyun did.

Chanyeol didn't know what he was doing. He was far too gone to care about the words he had been spewing as he pounded into Baekhyun, all curves and pliant limbs, all too alluring and very much enticing — enough for Chanyeol to forget even his name — enough for Chanyeol to forget that he wasn't supposed to say those three words. _Those three forbidden words._

It took Chanyeol a while to realize that those fox-like eyes, which had him enamored since the very first time he locked gazes with them, didn't have the hazy look of lust they usually did when they came to it anymore. Baekhyun's face registered the utmost shock, mouth gaping a little as he ceased all movements altogether and Chanyeol had to groan, not quite able to help himself from wanting more of Baekhyun's warmth around him — not being able to help himself from needing Baekhyun, in more ways than one.

The passion was all too much and Chanyeol couldn't bring himself to stop even though something at the back of his mind nagged at him, signalling him that something was wrong. The alcohol had numbed his senses and all he could do was push Baekhyun further down on the bed to continue from where they left off, not knowing why Baekhyun was suddenly unresponsive to his ministrations.

Not until he looked up to the elder's face that is — his alabaster skin paler than usual without make up on, his undone look doing wonders for Chanyeol's sanity, with a slightly terrified look in his orbs that Chanyeol found endearing. And it was then that Chanyeol felt himself say those three words again — and it hit him like a brick. He knew he was done for the moment Baekhyun tried to push him away after he came, yet Chanyeol could only hold on tighter, asking for forgiveness for feeling the way he was feeling, never mind that his heart was out of his control. He was going to apologize a million times if need be, if only to hold on to Baekhyun just a little bit more.

***

Chanyeol slept with tears on his eyes that night, holding onto Baekhyun's waist like a lifeline, relieved that the elder finally stopped squirming after Chanyeol said  _"Don't leave me,"_  for the fifth time. Chanyeol knew he must be dreaming when he felt Baekhyun return his hug; the elder's breathing the only thing that lulled him to a listless sleep.

And of fucking course; just like any other dream, Chanyeol woke up to an empty bed, the cold feeling reaching up to the depths of his heart. Chanyeol merely sighed in defeat, a fresh wave of tears threatening to fall from his eyes. He knew he had crossed the line, and he knew he should face the consequences of his actions. He had always agreed with Baekhyun's view on regrets — that it was pointless since one has to learn to stand up for their decisions and all.

But at that very moment, Chanyeol couldn't even be bothered with figuring out Baekhyun's idiosyncrasies. Oh no, he didn't regret anything that he did. After all, apologizing for one's feelings was just preposterous, him having no control over them whatsoever. Nevertheless, a thought plagued Chanyeol's mind, a fresh wave of tears falling onto his cheeks as he stared across the room to look at Baekhyun's closet door which was ajar, emptied of all traces of his belongings, mainly blue, that Chanyeol had grown accustomed to all these years.

Did Baekhyun regret having Chanyeol in his life? Because Chanyeol was sure he didn't and he knew that if given another chance, he would still prefer to fall for Baekhyun all over again, even if all it gives him is pain, leaving him broken — just like he is now.

Chanyeol could only stare blankly at Baekhyun's picture on their side table — the only trace of Baekhyun left in the room. Knowing the elder, it might have been an honest mistake, as the rest of the room was now completely devoid of anything that would indicate the presence of another occupant in the room. If Chanyeol didn't know better, he would've thought that everything was just a dream. That Baekhyun was a dream. He knew it could be possible. Baekhyun, after all, was too good to be true.

Yet the sting in his heart was too heavy to ignore. The pain was real. Baekhyun was real. Baekhyun left, taking the broken pieces of Chanyeol's heart with him — and Chanyeol thinks, he's broken beyond repair.  
  


**Author's Note:**

> \- Unbeta'd. Grammar errors are part and parcel of my existence TYVM.  
> \- Sort of a 'revenge' fic for Baekhyun after what Chanyeol did to him in Circles. Yes, I am a horrible human being.


End file.
